Fashion and Style

It's wonderful what one can find while stumbling aimlessly around Facebook. On one such day, I came across the "Pink Ladoo Project", and the name had me instantly intrigued. So the natural next step was to investigate what this project was all about - and I instantly fell in love with the idea. The South Asian culture, whether in South Asia or abroad as many of us are, still had lots of gender-biased traditions that permeate far and wide. I'm thankful everyday that I grew up in a family where my being a female was celebrated, not treated as something to be ashamed of. I know of many South Asian women my age who are still expected to aspire to marriage and childbearing as their highest goals. Yes, you may have done all these wonderful things - but when are you getting married? I recently started working at McKinsey, and remember running into someone at a (South Asian) wedding soon after this happened. They were very happy for and proud of me, and said as much, but soon...

Don't put me in your box, don't assume that because I'm a 24 year old Kenyan woman of Indian origin, I must fit a certain stereotype. I'm ambitious, and I want a lot more out of my life than you think I'm aspiring to. No, I don't need to 'think about settling down' because 'women should start planning their family around the age of 28'. Marriage, a family, all that- they're not unimportant, but they're not all that a woman can have. Don't measure my success by where you/your daughter/your neighbour's daughter were/are at 24. That's their story. And I'm writing my own.  When you look at me, then find out what I studied/where I studied/where I've worked and say something like "Wow, I had no idea you were smart!", don't expect me to take that as a compliment. If you're willing to judge someone at face value, then I'm more than entitled to judge you for the person you just showed yourself to be. When ...

I first met Vava at the Sankalp Forum in Nairobi, a little over a month ago. We were at one of the sessions, a 'service provider speed dating session', designed to put entrepreneurs together with service providers. I was there as a service provider, and she as an entrepreneur. While we spoke for no more than 5 minutes, I was impressed by her, and wanted to know more. I heard great things about her from others too. Naturally, I spoke to her about the YWSE (Nairobi) network, and thought that it'd be great to have her as a speaker. Little did I know how soon this was to happen! This past Monday (the 4th of April), was our monthly "How She Does It" YWSE dinner. Despite the rain and awful Nairobi traffic, Vava showed up, and managed to captivate her audience very easily! Vava Angwenyi, Founder of Vava Coffee Vava aims to make bold and badass (her own words) decisions in all that she does- a phrase that quickly caught on and proved to be quite inspirational to the rest ...

Last year, I talked about my own journey of stepping (or breaking) out of the box , so to speak. It definitely hasn't been easy, but I'm grateful for all that I'm learning. Being in a society that may not value creativity as much as I'd like hasn't been very easy, but I'm fortunate enough to have the support of the people around me: family, friends, mentors and even strangers. However, there are many others who aren't so lucky. There are certain fields which certain types of people are not allowed to break into, certain careers which some people just aren't 'allowed' to do, and countless boundaries that people keep imposing on others. Just think about the stereotypes we associate with stay-at-home dads. If a woman was to make the choice to put her career on hold to raise children, she would be praised. The same decision, when taken by a man, is often ridiculed. He isn't given support by the people around him, including friends and family.  A ...

Courtesy of Unsplash  "A real man never cries." -Plenty of people My father is over 6 feet tall, has a loud, deep voice, and a very commanding personality. Among the people who use such terms, he would be considered a 'real man'. One thing he's never projected, however, is a false sense of 'what a real man should be'. I've seen my father cry at occasions where normal people would and should cry; when our dogs passed, when I had my accidents, when my sister was hurting, when he watched a very touching movie, when he lost his father, and at other such moments in life. Not just my father, but I've seen other significant male figures in my life, like uncles and best friends, freely express themselves. Growing up, I always knew that being in touch with my emotions was never something to be ashamed of. However, I'm not a man. I've heard many men and boys say it over the years, this silly mantra that's repeated and shouldn't be: "Real...

Muthoni and I at the 'How She Does It' dinner Those of you who know anything about Sewanee know that it has an abundance of empowering people to connect with, and networking events galore! I can't even begin to count the amount of times I sat down with a group of amazing men and women and had meaningful conversations about anything and everything. Since coming back to Kenya, I've definitely missed the ease of access to people I could have such conversations and connections with. This is why, when a friend of mine suggested I attend a dinner and a talk that was part of a monthly series hosted by a nonprofit organisation in the area, I jumped at the chance. Connecting with fantastic, motivating women AND a great guest speaker? Of course I went! (And took my sister with me too.) I had a wonderful time, and definitely plan on going back. Luckily for me, I was seated right next to the guest of honour, Muthoni Gathecha (psychologist, motivational speaker, actress and presente...

Image courtesy of SplitShire Before we start, no, I'm not married. However, I've heard of/ read about so many couples having issues nowadays that could've easily been prevented by discussion prior to marriage. While a broken light bulb doesn't necessitate a new house, which is what many couples seem to go for as evidenced by the high divorce rate, sometimes the problem may be more than a light bulb. Therefore, I reached out to married couples and did some research to compile a list of issues to talk about, questions to ask and things to consider before you get married to someone; no matter how much you love them, and how awkward these may seem, it seems that there are common issues married couples face. By discussing these beforehand, issues like those may be avoided entirely! Or if not, at least a couple will know that they're coming and may have planned how to handle them in advance. Some of these may be small, while others may be bigger; it all really depends on ...

As a woman who lives in an urban society in the 21st century, I am constantly being bombarded by messages from media and advertising and even the people around me. Many of these messages encourage me to look better, be healthier, dress better; but how many of them encourage me to do it for myself?  As much as women have progressed recently, the sad thing is that in the society we live in, we are still seen as objects who should look pretty for the sake of other people. This may be changing in other places, but it is very much the case in Nairobi. What women wear and how they look are constantly being judged and criticised and held to ridiculous standards that we aren't allowed to dictate ourselves. I remember hearing the tale of a woman who got married and was made to shower, dress up in Indian traditional clothes and make-up EVERY single morning by the time she was at the breakfast table; whereas her in-laws did not adhere to these standards.  Unfortunately, many of us are at...

Kenya is a country that has made various advancements, especially so over the past two decades. However, some pockets of society remain 'backward' for lack of a better word, and discrimination is present in many cases, ranging from racism to sexism to homophobia. I reached out to some people and asked them to share their experiences with sexism in the country. While most of the stories below are from people I know, some are from newspaper articles or stories I've heard through other people. In the interest of keeping these accounts readable, I've presented them all in first person. Please feel free to comment with any you'd like to share! -As a 'mzungu' man new to the country, I was prepared to adjust to a level of development that wasn't equal to that of my home country. However, one thing took me by surprise (and still does); whenever I went out to a restaurant in the company of one or more females, the check (bill) was always given to me, regardless o...