Skip to main content

Don't Put Me in Your Box



Don't put me in your box, don't assume that because I'm a 24 year old Kenyan woman of Indian origin, I must fit a certain stereotype. I'm ambitious, and I want a lot more out of my life than you think I'm aspiring to. No, I don't need to 'think about settling down' because 'women should start planning their family around the age of 28'. Marriage, a family, all that- they're not unimportant, but they're not all that a woman can have. Don't measure my success by where you/your daughter/your neighbour's daughter were/are at 24. That's their story. And I'm writing my own. 

When you look at me, then find out what I studied/where I studied/where I've worked and say something like "Wow, I had no idea you were smart!", don't expect me to take that as a compliment. If you're willing to judge someone at face value, then I'm more than entitled to judge you for the person you just showed yourself to be. When you find out that I'm planning to undertake a workout programme and you say something like "Be careful or you'll get muscles!", don't be surprised when I look confused. 

If you learn about my accomplishments and say something along the lines of "Wow, that's so awesome for a woman/girl!", be prepared for me to look at you like you just sprouted another head. Does being a woman exclude me from aspiring to success? Does being a woman mean that I'm automatically less intelligent than everyone else you know? 

I remember being asked at a job interview "You have a really impressive background, but wouldn't you rather just work in the beauty industry? You know, being a woman and all?"

I won't apologise for not laughing at your racist, homophobic, and/or sexist jokes- no matter how uncomfortable that makes you. No, it's not funny when you say that someone is 'not a man' because they chose to stay home with their children instead of going out with you. If you're the most loving, kind and supportive spouse, and you both have an awesome relationship, but when you're out with your friends you make jokes about how women 'nag all the time' or how 'men never get anything done'- that's not funny either. It's not funny when you think that just because your skin colour happens to be lighter or darker than someone else's, that gives you automatic superiority- it doesn't. You know what makes someone 'better' or 'worse' than someone else? Who they are. NOT the colour of their skin.  

If you laugh at people for being 'stupid and closed minded' but the last time you bothered to learn something new was when you were in formal education, and you dogmatically reject all that is unfamiliar to you... yes, I probably will say something. 

Nobody's perfect- but I think that those with the ability to make change happen almost have a responsibility to do so. If we don't grow, if we never improve- how meaningful are our lives really?

This is my life, and my story, and I want you to realise we can be different without being at conflict. Don't put me in your box- allow me to forge my own path. I'll make mistakes, I'll fail, I'll do stupid things more than once in a while. But I'll learn. And I'll grow.


Liked this post? Don't forget to comment/share on Facebook, and like/RT on Twitter!



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Winding Down: A Family Vacation

First of all, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Apologies for silence this month; but also, THANK YOU! Thank you to all of you for being such a great audience this year. My readership in 2015 has been the highest ever- especially so in December, which is crazy because I've only published one post this month so far! So thank you, for reading, and keeping up with the Kenyan Nomad, and all the wonderful feedback you've given me this year. As we count down to my favourite holiday of the year, I wanted to share some snippets from my recent family vacation. My parents and I headed to the Rift Valley from the 20th to the 24th, and I decided to completely unplug! My phone was on airplane mode most of the time, I absolutely didn't check my messages, emails or Facebook at all, and I got to spend some time actually reading! I didn't manage to fit in as much as I would've liked, but I did read 'The Pilgrimage' by Paulo Coelho and 'Social Intelligence'...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Mayura: Restaurant Review

Happy new year, everyone! It's been a while, so I thought to break tradition and post on a Tuesday this time - I'm sure you're in need of new restaurant recommendations, right? Located in Kenrail towers, the Mayura  is an Indian restaurant that you may not have been to yet. I'd heard about it, but never been, so when I was invited to do a review, I naturally jumped at the chance. Located in Kenrail Towers, the ambience of the Mayura has peacock-themed, warm interiors. There's a lot of space to sit down, both inside and outside. The restaurant is the brainchild of Rajiv Segal, who has a corporate background and being from Delhi, had a high standard of quality and had developed a distinctive palate, which he wanted to bring to the people in Nairobi. The menu was chosen for us by Rajiv (and boy, did we eat a lot!). For starters, we had some paneer tikka, mutton chops, fish amritsari and banu kebab (chicken). The paneer tikka was absolutely amazing! The paneer was fresh...
Post a Comment
Read more

Return to Kenya

As predicted, 2015 has brought with it quite a few changes. In addition to three of my cousins having babies early this year, I recently moved back to Kenya! (Bam).  A move was inevitable, as I'd predicted earlier this year. The last birthday I celebrated at home with my parents was my 18th, so I planned my move out in such a way that I'd be able to celebrate my 23rd here too. (Here I am, another year older (...wiser?)). It sounds like such a cliche, but I've been amazed by all the things (and people) that have changed while I've been away, while some things (and people) are exactly the same as they were 5 years ago.  I plan to be in Kenya for the next few years at least, so for this period, The Kenyan Nomad will have a decidedly Kenyan lens, as I go exploring this familiar place with a fresh gaze.  I've barely been here two weeks, and have already been inspired to grow my writing beyond what it once was; who wouldn't, surrounded by such beauty? 
Post a Comment
Read more