Skip to main content

Grief and I


Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Grief. He has been walking with me since April and I do wonder when I may be left alone...

Is there an FAQ for losing someone? Asking for a friend - not Grief, but me this time.

It's been a little busy in my mindspace recently - you see, Grief is quite popular and since he started hanging out with me, he has all these other friends who've decided to join the party.

Confusion. Waking up and feeling like it may be an ordinary day - but something, somewhere feels off, what could it be? Confusion. Having those around our family think that we're doing fine - how can they not see?

Rage. She kind of roams around with no clear target - sometimes she's concerned with how modern medicine failed us, how they didn't detect how serious it was in time, how something, SOMEWHERE, might have saved my uncle.

Gratitude. 26 years - I had 26 wonderful years to learn from him. Cut short though they may be, I'm grateful for every single day of these.

Fear. Fear whispers in my ear - what if what if what if? What if you have to go through this again? This time you broke, slowly and surely. Next time, you will surely shatter, and there won't be any putting you back together.

Fearlessness. Strangely enough, Fearlessness and Fear have found a way to coexist. Nothing could ever be scary compared to the last few months, right?

Anger. So much of it. The future we got cheated out of. Sometimes, unjustifiable toward my other family, who got more time with him then I did - and immediately followed by

Shame. We all lost him. I don't get to prioritise my friend Grief over his cousins who've found homes with my family at this time.

Hope. She's the gentle hand on my shoulder, telling me to stay strong, to be strong, to be happy - because that's what he would want.

Hurt. So many conversations left unspoken, questions left unasked. Things that only Shiri uncle would know - moments where I forget, the past, the usual, comes rushing back, I think of picking up the phone and shooting him a quick message and then boom! Hurt reminds me of that which I dared to forget.

Weariness. She's the loner standing at the corner of this whole party whispering softly

I'm tired. I'm exhausted. When does this ever end?

Strength. He's the friend who has a direct connection to my support network and has managed to keep me going - keep us going - as this party goes on. I'm thankful, everyday, for his perseverance.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Mayura: Restaurant Review

Happy new year, everyone! It's been a while, so I thought to break tradition and post on a Tuesday this time - I'm sure you're in need of new restaurant recommendations, right? Located in Kenrail towers, the Mayura  is an Indian restaurant that you may not have been to yet. I'd heard about it, but never been, so when I was invited to do a review, I naturally jumped at the chance. Located in Kenrail Towers, the ambience of the Mayura has peacock-themed, warm interiors. There's a lot of space to sit down, both inside and outside. The restaurant is the brainchild of Rajiv Segal, who has a corporate background and being from Delhi, had a high standard of quality and had developed a distinctive palate, which he wanted to bring to the people in Nairobi. The menu was chosen for us by Rajiv (and boy, did we eat a lot!). For starters, we had some paneer tikka, mutton chops, fish amritsari and banu kebab (chicken). The paneer tikka was absolutely amazing! The paneer was fresh...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Organize Your Closet

Today�s guest blogger is fellow Her Campus Blogger Network member, Ak Brown! This is the first post in a series of posts she�ll be doing on The Kenyan Nomad. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have! Ak�s bio: Fashionable with a hint of unconventional rawness, that's what I used to describe myself and my blog Mind of a Fashionista. Started in 2013, I have transformed this blog along with my best friend into a diverse source of fashion, style, and beauty news, trends, tips, and tricks while also conveying opinions that normally don't go with the "norm" opinion. It's morning, 6:58 to be exact.  It's time for you to get up, get ready, and get going.  After showering, brushing and flossing your teeth you head over to your closet and say to yourself "What in the f***".  Shirts are hanging off of their hangers, pants look like they got up for a late night drink and passed out on the floor, and long story short, your closet looks like an abomination.  But y...
Post a Comment
Read more

New Technology Billed as the Latest Breakthrough in Laser Vision Correction

Here's an article I wrote, in conjunction with Dr. Mukesh Joshi of Laser Eye Centre, that got published in the Daily Nation today! It's more on the scientific side, but I thought it was worth sharing.  Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? What if you were told that you could get perfect vision by lying under a laser machine for 30 seconds without any surgical instruments touching your eye? It seems like a dream, but it is now possible, thanks to the C-Ten procedure. Patients suffering from short-sightedness, long-sightedness or astigmatism (distortion of the cornea that causes blurry vision), which cause them to need glasses or contact lenses, now have access to a procedure that can correct their vision in less than half a minute. The procedure, which takes no more than 35 seconds, is minimally invasive as there are no surgical instruments involved. The principle aim of laser vision correction is to reshape the cornea to correct vision problems. The reshaping is done to the m...
Post a Comment
Read more